On Personnel Files and Sticker Economies

Granted. We are two days in. I don't think I can say with any bit of authority that this whole stay-at-home mom thing is or is not going well. However, at the risk of completely jinxing it all, I will say that it is going much better than I ever thought it would.

So far, I have cleaned the kitchen, washed, folded, and hung up the entire family's clothes, cooked two meals (this included chopping onions - pre-chopped onions are frivolous now), kept the house relatively picked up, and, well, that is it so far, but for me that is epic. No, I take that back. What is EPIC is that, in the midst of all of this, I got two children to take a nap at the same time two days in a row, right off the bat.

You have to understand. My life has been personnel files and reports and presentations and office drama. To quit cold turkey, switch gears completely, and come up with something as GENIUS, though amusingly primitive, as this, is nothing short of amazing:

Clearly, I am new to Pinterest. As a side note, I'll be honest - I joined it this morning, and I don't really know where to start. I have pinned one thing. The rest of my time on it I have spent feeling inadequate.

Anyway, I made this chart where, if Liam goes down for a nap by himself and without a fight, he gets a sticker. When he reaches the weird dome-looking thing, he gets a trip to Menchie's. It worked beautifully yesterday (he got a free trip since it was the first time). Today, not quite as beautifully, but we succeeded in the end. I had to put my foot down and say "you will take a nap. You can either do it nicely and earn a sticker, or you can fight me and not earn a sticker." He's just kind of a beast if he goes more than a day or two without a nap.

Granted. We are two days in. But it feels like all of my concerns leading to the decision are panning out correctly. My day is even-paced, and not a series of transitions from one role to the next. I feel like "mom" is my first job and not my side job. I can focus on it. So far I have had lots of quality moments, not just cram-it-all-into-a-couple-hours-and-hope-I-come-out-the-other-side-alive moments. They've been angels. They are truly good kids. I know we can take some credit for that, but they have also been taught well at school.

So far, this is easier, and not in an "if it's easy, you're not doing it right" kind of way. I am still in between worlds, and grateful that in the end I will be able to relate to both working and stay-at-home moms. Ask me again in 6 months, and I will be able to give you a better response to the "I'm a stay-at-home mom, and my job is harder than yours" cliche. So far, for MYSELF, I am leaning towards no (again - 2 days in), but my overall reaction, which won't waver, is "stop the mommy wars. Stop with the 'I have it harder than you.' Stop with the 'I'm mom enough and you aren't.'" Holy goodness.

Being a working mom is HARD. I have had some moments where THIS is hard. Being a mom is hard. We all have it hard, but our children's consideration for future employment opportunities won't be determined by whose mom had the most woefully difficult child-rearing experience, luckily. I mean, working or not, would it be some parenting sin worthy of child-services investigation to say "you know, I love being a mom, and because I love being a mom, this is actually a piece of cake!"?