Hard Work!

-"I'm not judging, but..." Yeah, you are! Do you have any idea how much I wish I did not have to filter, whether it be on Facebook or my blog? I wish I could write a blog where I just say EXACTLY how I feel about every topic in the world. I'd undoubtedly lose friends.

-Halloween was fun. On that day, I had to remind myself repeatedly that there are a lot of parents out there who have lost children who would love to hear them talk just one more time. So as we set off to my older brother's house and Liam started talking and did not stop for the rest of the night, I had to tell myself that a lot. About halfway through Trick-or-Treating, as it became evident that only about 1/3 the neighborhood was participating, we listened to the stomping of his Darth Vader feet and "they are not home. Wait, I hear something. They are home. They need to come out. I don't like Trick-or-Treating. Trick-or-Treating is hard work. I am not good at Trick-or-Treating! I want to go home. My pumpkin is too heavy. I can't carry it anymore. I am not good at Trick-or-Treating. It is hard work! No, I don't want you to take my picture! No more pictures! I want to be Boba Fett...." It was endearing. It made me realize that we have a lazy child on our hands and an uphill battle ahead teaching him that he is responsible for the outcome of his life. The good news is that when we got back around 8 and still had a steady stream of Trick-or-Treaters (mostly middle-school-aged) for the next hour, he had an absolute blast.

-I hate when I am sitting there and feel one of those flutters in my belly that feels exactly like a baby kicking. I get scared, and then remind myself that it is not possible, and especially not to have one in there old enough to kick. Hopefully I will not munch on my words as I sit there watching my episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." Ha - totally enjoying living vicariously through others' pregnancies, and find myself excited and not jealous as announcements come through, which is great news that my heart is not changing.

-I thought that Liam was content to watch his shows during the evening while I dealt with Macy through the tough times. I learned I was wrong, however, when we were lying in his bed and he said "Daddy is my friend, and Macy is your friend. Daddy is my favorite." I realized how affected he has been by the amount of attention I have had to devote to her, and it made me super-sad. I asked him if he thought I liked Macy better than him, and he did. I am sure my explanation about how I love them equally fell on deaf ears (most of what I say to him these days does). I realized I needed to go on a little date with him so I could fully devote my time and attention to him, even if only for a little while. We went to Monkey Joe's, Target, and Waffle House. We came back and he said "I like you Mommy!" I needed that. He also told me today that I am his friend, and I of course told him that I am his mom and not his friend but that I love him very much, and one day we can be friends. I can only hope that one fell on deaf ears.

-I wish Macy would cuddle with me at night. She's ready for bed, though, and she knows it. Tonight I said to her "are you ready for bed?" She responded by vigorously nodding her head. I said "you don't want to cuddle with mommy?" She vigorously shook her head. I picked her up, and as we headed to the crib she said "nigh nigh! Nigh nigh!" Sweetness. Of course, if I time it wrong, as I often do, it's an hour-long.

-You may notice a trend: this is not getting easier with the passage of time. I love my kids to the end of the earth and back...but boy is it a big job. I am impressed that my friends read my blog and still decide to have more than 1. :)