I just spent the last 20 minutes or so before Liam went to bed watching him play in his bedroom. We have this little cube beanbag "ottoman," maybe like 2 feet wide, tall and long. He keeps it in the corner and just tumbles all over it, leans back on it, looks up at the ceiling and at me and smiles. He's a little ham. I never have my camera on me to take a little video of it all, but it's ok - it's worth just enjoying.

Talk about Daddy's Boy. I think we're bringing it to new levels. If both of us are home, and he's screaming and crying and I'm pulling everything out of my bag of tricks to calm him down, he will not stop until I hand him over. It hurts my feelings. Aren't I supposed to be the one and only?

The other night we got to re-experience being up in the middle of the night with a crying baby. Honestly, I forgot the trauma of it all. It's been about a year since we had to get up with him for a little while every night. Right now, the amount of sleep we get is the function of how early we go to bed. If I want 11 hours of sleep, I could have it if I go to bed at 8 or so (not that I ever do - I still manage to get only 5 or 6). So when he woke up screaming inconsolably the other night, it took us back to a place we forgot existed. We had no idea what was wrong. I can chalk it up only to his molars or to the massive amounts of refried beans he at at La Parilla that night. This is an advantage of Andy being Mr. Mom and stealing my thunder - he has to deal with the repercussions of what I choose to feed Liam at night.

Anyways, we took Liam into bed with us, and Andy was holding him up and rubbing his back. He would try to put him down to lie in between us, and Liam would start crying and climb right back up into Andy's arms. I mean, I love it that they're so close, but it would be nice to be chosen once in a while. I'm sure that at midnight on a work night, Andy would love for me to be chosen, too.

I was at an all-day seminar yesterday and was thinking about everything but what I was "learning." I was thinking about the next baby and how I'll feel if it's another boy. Again, I don't want to find out next time around. In the end, it really doesn't matter. Of course, my entire analysis is predicated on the assumption that we will have one more and that's it.

I always wanted a daughter. Once we had Liam, I realized how amazingly awesome boys are and that I would be completely okay if we have another one. Now, I've kind of come full circle and started to want the next one to be a girl pretty badly again, but this time for different reasons.

Liam's enchantment with Andy aside, when it's just the two of us, we have a pretty darn good time. Everything that they say about that bond between a mom and her son is without a doubt 100% true. The thing is that I have that with Liam, and I don't want to share it with any other boy. I want him to be the #1 Boy in my life. Not that another would be an intrusion or anything, and I am sure that I have enough room in my heart to have that bond with two...but I would prefer to bestow it entirely upon Liam.

I am glad that we found out the first time. I needed that time before he was born to overcome the blatant disappointment that we weren't having a girl. Granted, it only lasted about a day or two, but I am glad that that day or two did not come when I was trying to bond with my brand new baby. I do think that if another boy comes out, at the moment that he is born, I'll feel that little twinge of disappointment, but I it'll be 95% mitigated by the fact that I have no doubt that I will love him to the end of the earth and back and that that's what's meant to be.

On the housing front, we got our 5th customer today. Andy and I have kind of both thrown out there that we kind of don't want to move. I know I have alluded to my doubts, but it's like this giant stress-ball looming over my head. I know that if either one of us came right out and said "I want to take the house off the market," there wouldn't be any argument. I also know that if one of us really, really wanted to keep it up, there wouldn't be any argument there, either. At this point we've both said that we'll keep it up through the end date of the current listing, which is 8/12 or so, and if we don't have any buyers, we'll let the listing expire and re-fi.

All it would cost to unlist it is $50.

It's just so funny because we bought this house with the intention of moving before the 5-year mark, and I have wanted to move ever since we bought it. It's always been a starter home to us. The moment that sign went into the yard, though, I started to love the house. I think it's a combination of things...re-doing the living room to a place that feels cozy and comfy, getting it cleaned every 3 weeks (as opposed to never), and keeping it neat and tidy in anticipation of prospective buyers. I've also overcome my fear of having the water heater and the heating system in the garage, which is essentially right underneath Liam's room, after seeing other houses with the same kind of set-up.

You start thinking things like "I hope people come look at it on a sunny day around 5pm so they can see how bright and sunny the breakfast area is!" And then you say, "well, I love how bright and sunny the breakfast area is, so why don't I want it for ourselves?" When you start talking things up about your house in your head as stuff that a potential buyer SHOULD (of course) love, you realize that you yourself love it (because it suites your taste, not necessarily anyone else's).

I think the big question is what we would regret more. If we pulled the house off the market in two weeks and refinanced, would we kick ourselves 6 months from now for not seizing the opportunity to make the move we had planned on making all along while the buyers' market is as hot as it will ever be, and interest rates are as low as they will ever be? Or, if we do sell the house and move, will we really, really miss this little home we've made for ourselves and all the history that comes with it? And the sunny breakfast area and the cozy little living room and the perfect-sized yard and the fact that I absolutely love, love, love living near downtown Duluth?

We've also said that it's in God's hands. This begs the question, then, whether or not listening to God means heeding the feelings in our guts, or if it means that if someone buys our house before mid-August, then that's His intention for us?

I DON'T KNOW!!! We don't know. But I guess we will see!