I can't wait to have another baby. That being said, I don't want another baby just yet.

Liam's growing like a weed, and while I love him more and more and I love every phase, part of me just misses that itty bitty newborn phase so much. I am going to enjoy it so much the next time around. However, I know Andy is good with just two, and I am pretty sure that I don't even want to discuss a third, so I view the next baby as our last shot at it. The quicker it comes, the quicker it goes, so I am content with knowing that it's not right around the corner and that I don't have the desire to get pregnant again at this moment just to satisfy my desire for a newborn,.

Plus, I just flat out don't want to be pregnant again! I don't think I've forgotten the misery enough quite yet.

Really, though, I feel like I am going to be in such a great place for it next time around. When Liam was born, I wasn't quite in the "mommy mode" yet, and I couldn't comprehend the extent to which you can love your own child. I know the depth of that love now, and I can imagine staring at a new baby in awe.

If I could do it over with a choice, and this is my unsolicited advice to any potential mom, I would have kept him in my room with me all night; I would have foregone the sleep, surrendered to the exhaustion, and just enjoyed it. I of course didn't have that option since he was being observed in the transition nursery, but given the choice, I probably would have sent him to the nursery. I hadn't slept in about 40 hours. I now realize how just absolutely crucial those first few hours are in the bonding process.

I pick him up now and hug him so tight and just love him so freaking much. I've come to understand the statement "I could just eat you up." It's like, you can hug your baby as tight as can be, but that's as close as you're going to get without eating it. Please don't get me wrong - I am not suggesting anyone eat their child! It's just that that hug is as close as you're going to get as much as you wish you could get closer. Loving a child is a new experience for me, and it's proven to be quite interesting and incredible.

That's why I really miss him (and Andy, who I also love intensely in a different kind of way) while I am in South Georgia. Can't wait to be home tomorrow!