Love/Hate

We feel like we are at a crossroads. I know we dragged you through one attempt to sell our house four and a half years ago on this blog, but here we (might) go again.

We just don't know. We feel like we have a window of opportunity here where the market has rebounded enough to where we could get a little money out of our current house without being priced out of the next level.

When we made the decision to drop an income, we KNEW that it would hinder any future plans for movin' on up in life, real-estate-wise. We'll never have our "dream home," so that is why I never really dream without limitation. I do, however, dream within our means.

We're waiting on some numbers: how much we could expect to sell our house for, how much of a loan we could get without upping our monthly payment too much, and how much do we have available in a little side account of ours? In the meantime, however, it's been weighing on me on a more emotional level. We've been here almost 9 years - almost the entirety of our marriage - and we've worked on the house over time to make it ours. There are things we've always kinda hated about it, but things that we've really grown to love about it.

I LOVE our city. If we can make this happen without leaving the city limits, then full speed ahead.

I love the feeling that I get as I drive through our neighborhood on the way in or out. The houses aren't right on top of each other, so it's nice and spacious. However, then I think about the fact that it completely lacks any sense of community. I know a few people, but for the most part, it's a diverse neighborhood where everyone just keeps to themselves.

I really dislike the lack of space we have. We need more closets, more room to stretch out, more places for the kids to play. But I love - LOVE - our kitchen. We really made that ours.

I hate our stippled ceilings. I really, really hate our stippled ceilings. However, I love the life that we have created under these stippled ceilings.

I dislike that, when it's 16 degrees outside, I can't hang out downstairs without dressing like it's 16 degrees outside. Some windows that serve their purpose would be awesome. I do love opening the blinds, letting the morning or evening light in, and enjoying the view.

I love that I have sidewalks available from the moment I leave my driveway to run until the moment I return regardless of the mileage I need to accomplish. I dislike that I can't play baseball in our tiny backyard with my kids without losing balls over the fence and down an embankment.

I think it's really stupid that anyone would ever build a house without a fan in the master bathroom. But I really love that the dust adheres to every steam molecule and settles upon the vanity like a dusting of snow. Okay, never mind. I really, really don't love that.

I love that everyone, for the most part, keeps their yards nicely maintained. I dislike, though, that as our neighborhood took a hit in the real estate market, more and more homeowners are moving and renting out their houses. I am not knocking renters - believe me, if it didn't cost more to rent than own a comparably-sized house, I'd LOVE to take a break from homeownership for awhile and would do so with no dignity lost. The reality is, though, that it is more attractive to be a homeowner among homeowners than a homeowner in a community comprised largely of rentals.

I SOOO DISLIKE the fact that we live on a thru-way (there are two entrances to our neighborhood, and we live in the middle). People suck at driving on our street, and it'll be a good long while before I feel comfortable letting the kids play out there. I love the feeling of my house inside, though. It really has become home.

I love the playground at the end of our street. The HOA really did a nice job renovating it into a nice little place to go when you don't feel like getting in the car. I really dislike having a small closet for a laundry room right smack in the middle of the kitchen, though.

I love the thought of being here still in 5 years. However, I really dislike the thought of still being here in 20, and we have to act at just the right time to prevent that.

I don't know - I just don't know! We did find the P-E-R-F-E-C-T house!! I mean, perfect. It's not the one I posted about on Facebook - once we went inside that one, we found it to be a dump with no backyard. This one's right around the corner from it in the neighborhood we'd really like to end up in. We toyed with throwing caution to the wind and putting in an offer. In the end, we decided we're too conservative to feel comfortable doing that before all our ducks are in a row. We're trying to let go of that one because it will likely be sold before our house has a chance to sell (though we did find out some info about the seller's timeline that gives us hope).

So here's hoping and praying for some clarity and direction. We shy away from scary things, and this is a scary thing. However, deep down, we know leaving our little home is something we probably should do when the numbers are right, even if it's with some degree of reluctance.