Debut

Q. Dear (Actual but Uncopyrighted Version of) Abby,

How on earth does one gracefully deal with a neighbor's barking dog that wakes your entire household up at 6am daily? Most especially, when said neighbors are absolutely fabulous in every other non-barking-dog kind of way?

Signed,
Grumpy Ear Plug Wearing Neighbor


A. Dear Grumpy Ear Plug Wearing Neighbor,

I am guessing that, when you say "gracefully," what you really mean is "passive-aggressively."

You can always put in an anonymous tip to the cops, which would convey your point without straining your relationship with your neighbors (meanwhile shifting your discomfort to them, as they would forever wonder which neighbor was the culprit). You could find out what time they turn in for the night and dose them with a recording of your child's most insanity-inducing tantrum blaring through a loudspeaker. You could leave some cookies on their doorstep with a note (adorned with 3 dozen smiley-faces, of course) and an overly-polite explanation of your beef.

*At the end of the day, though, the most graceful thing that you could do is just be honest. Politely but unapologetically honest. Fabulous though they may be, they are being inconsiderate of you and your other neighbors. It does not sound like you wake up to a cacophony of barking dogs every morning, though I am sure that a good percentage of your mutual neighbors are also dog owners. A problem exists that they need to address, as their right to love on their furry friend ends where your family's right to seek sanctuary in your own home begins. Though it may be an uncomfortable conversation and lead to some temporary awkwardness, I imagine they would appreciate your willingness to approach the situation directly much more than they would appreciate you creating a fake e-mail address and sending them daily informational links.

Chances are there are many others out there mulling over their own "graceful" options for dealing with the situation, and they will be grateful for your efforts.

Good luck, my friend.

(* - I never pretend to practice what I preach)


How did I do? I blame any deficiencies on the fact that I am running on only a few hours of intermittent sleep, in part due to my melatonin's failure to perform and in part due to a rhythmic duel of hooting-owl-vs.-barking-dog in the middle of the night. I feel ya.