I feel like I am writing this one out of obligation. It has been more than a month, and I'm just completely slacking in the blogging arena. I don't think it will be terribly exciting, so don't go into it with high expectations.

So my baby will be ten months old on Thursday. I absolutely cannot believe it. There was a day when I never thought the day would come when I would conceive a child, much less have him around for 10 months. I am probably the most chronically nostalgic people you'll ever meet, and my memories always look highly upon the worst of times...so I get superjealous of pregnant people and people with very tiny babies. I forget the uncomfortableness and the sleep deprivation, and all I remember is holding the sweet little boy and taking in his face, knowing it would be different the next day and would never be the same again. I even knew it then and still feel I didn't make the most of it.

Oh well...one more go-around, and I'll love it. I'll even try to love pregnancy. I am sure that the anticipation and the joy are so very different and so very intense no matter how many children you have, but I just always wonder if I'll ever feel the feeling again of anticipating and meeting my first.

But again, I'm just content with my sweet little 10-month-old, who gives me more reason to love him every day, and know that the sooner the next one comes the sooner it goes. I'm not wishing the time away before the next pregnancy.

I've become aware that his first words aren't terribly far off (relatively speaking). Not like it's going to happen tomorrow, but probably within the next 6 or 8 months, maybe? The thought of my little baby communicating with me makes me happy...I can't really imagine it. I can't wait till he says "I love you, Mama." For now, "mama" would be a start.

He's a lot of fun now (and a lot of work). My favorite is when I'm sitting down and he comes up to me, pulls himself up on my shoulders, and presses himself up against my chest. I hug him back, and it is very sweet. It's nice to be loved by a little guy, even if he can't say it yet.

Of course, he's getting into his fair share of trouble. We rearranged the living room to have some people over for the Tech game (let's not talk about that), exposing many off-limits places. He knows "no," but continues to laugh at and ignore it. Tonight I put him in time-out after he kept trying to get to the TV wiring. I said "no," and then held him and counted to 10. Repeat ad nauseum.

I heard on the news about a 4-week old dying in a car wreck somewhere in metro Atlanta. They said that the baby died because the car seat was not installed correctly. I cannot IMAGINE losing my baby, much less knowing for the rest of my life that it was something I could have prevented.

I cry way too much now. I cry at the drop of a hat when it comes to people and their children. I was very embarrassed when I was watching Oprah at the Y and she played this video called "99 Balloons," a little montage of letters a father wrote to his baby who wasn't supposed to make it past birth but made it 99 days (you should watch it - just search YouTube for "99 Balloons"). Ugh. I knew if I let myself shed a tear it would be all over.

Anyways, I am going to spare you anymore of my dull drivel...I'll try to write again when I have some material :)